Reconnecting With Friends Became My Greatest Perimenopause Support

I was isolating myself during perimenopause because I was exhausted and irritable and I did not want to burden my friends with my moods. I was missing gatherings and canceling plans. I was becoming more isolated. Then a good friend reached out and asked why I had disappeared. I broke down and told her what was going on. Instead of judging me, she was supportive. She invited me to a women's group she was part of where many of the women were going through perimenopause. I went to one meeting and I felt like I had come home. I was no longer alone.

How I got here

I had a good group of friends but we had drifted apart over the years. We were busy with work and family and life. We did not see each other as much as we used to. When perimenopause started, I was dealing with so much that I did not have energy to maintain friendships. I was being snappy with my friends. I was canceling plans. I was avoiding situations where I might have a hot flash in public. I was becoming more and more isolated. I was also depressed and lonely and I was not doing anything to reach out.

What I actually did

When my friend reached out, instead of pushing her away, I told her the truth about what I was going through. She was so supportive. She invited me to join a women's circle that met monthly to discuss life, aging, and perimenopause. I was nervous about going but I went. And I found a room full of women going through the exact same thing I was going through. They understood my mood swings. They understood my exhaustion. They understood my fear about aging. We talked openly about our experiences. We supported each other. I also reconnected with some of my old friends by being honest about my perimenopause. They understood when I cancelled plans. They were supportive when I had a hard day.

What actually changed

I no longer felt alone in my perimenopause journey. I had a community of women who understood what I was going through. My friendships deepened because I was being more vulnerable and authentic. I was getting support and giving support. I was no longer isolating myself. My mood improved. My anxiety improved. My sense of belonging improved. Community became one of my most important tools for managing perimenopause.

What my routine looks like now

I go to my women's circle once a month. I meet with a close friend once a week. I am more intentional about maintaining my friendships. I use PeriPlan to track my mood and I notice that my mood is better on days when I have connection with other women. I have made new friends and deepened old friendships. Community is one of the most important supports I have for perimenopause.

If you are isolating yourself during perimenopause, consider reaching out to friends or looking for a community of women going through the same thing. You do not have to suffer alone. Connection and community are powerful medicine. This is not medical advice about depression or isolation. If you are struggling with depression, please talk to a mental health professional.