Perimenopause and Making New Friends: Why Connection Matters More Than Ever
Friendships often shift in perimenopause. Discover why making new friends during this life stage matters so much, and practical ways to find your people.
Why Friendships Often Shift in Perimenopause
Perimenopause often coincides with a period of significant social reshuffling. Children leave home, work roles change, long-term relationships evolve, and some friendships that were built around shared life stages quietly fade. At the same time, hormonal changes can increase social anxiety and make existing friendships feel more complicated. The result is that many women in their 40s and early 50s find themselves feeling more isolated than they expected, not because they are unfriendly, but because the structures that once created friendship have changed.
The Health Case for Friendship in Midlife
Social connection is not a luxury. Research consistently shows that loneliness is as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and that strong social bonds are associated with longer life, lower rates of depression, and better cognitive health. For women in perimenopause, who are already navigating elevated cortisol, disrupted sleep, and mood changes, social support provides a direct buffer. Having someone to talk to, someone who understands what you are going through, changes the felt experience of difficult symptoms.
Why Making Friends Feels Harder as an Adult
There is nothing wrong with you if making friends feels harder now than it did at 20. Adult friendships require intentional effort because the accidental proximity that creates friendship (school, university, shared housing) no longer applies. Add perimenopause fatigue to the mix and social initiative can feel genuinely exhausting. The key insight is that you do not need many new friends. Research suggests that even one or two close, reciprocal friendships produce most of the health benefits associated with strong social connection.
Where to Meet People at This Life Stage
The most reliable way to make friends in midlife is through repeated low-stakes contact around a shared interest. A regular class, a book group, a running club, a choir, a volunteering commitment, a crafting group. These settings create the repeated exposure that friendship requires without the awkwardness of explicit attempts to befriend someone. Perimenopause-specific groups, both in person and online, have the added advantage that everyone in the room shares a common experience, which accelerates trust and intimacy.
Investing in Friendship as Self-Care
Making new friends takes time and some vulnerability. There will be connections that do not quite click, and that is normal. But the effort is worth it. Women who have strong social networks in midlife consistently report better mental health, more resilience in the face of physical symptoms, and a greater sense of meaning and purpose. Think of time spent cultivating connection as essential self-care rather than optional socialising.
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