Finding Community and Belonging During Perimenopause
Perimenopause can feel isolating. Finding a community where you belong supports your mental and physical health in ways that are hard to replicate alone.
The isolation that perimenopause can create
Perimenopause is still not discussed openly in most social circles, which means many women go through it feeling like they are the only one experiencing what they are experiencing. The symptoms are often invisible to others. The mood changes, the brain fog, the physical discomfort, and the shifting sense of identity that can come with this life stage are all largely internal. That invisibility can produce a particular kind of loneliness: being surrounded by people while feeling profoundly misunderstood. The first and most powerful antidote to that feeling is finding people who genuinely understand what you are going through.
What community actually provides
Community during perimenopause does more than reduce loneliness, though it does that too. It provides a space to normalise experiences that feel abnormal when you are going through them alone. Hearing that other women have the same symptoms, the same fears, and the same difficult days takes some of the fear out of them. It provides a collective intelligence: practical strategies, recommendations, shared knowledge that no individual person could accumulate on their own. And it provides the basic human benefit of being known and accepted by people who are not obligated to care about you. That last part, belonging without obligation, is something that is easy to underestimate.
Types of communities that tend to work
Not all communities are equally valuable for perimenopause support. Some that women find genuinely helpful include online forums and social media groups specifically focused on perimenopause and menopause, local or national menopause support groups, women's health charities that run community programmes, exercise classes or activity groups that have developed a social dimension, and faith or cultural communities that create sustained belonging. The common thread is that the community meets regularly, has some shared purpose or identity, and creates enough continuity for real connections to form. A one-off event is not the same as a community, even if it is enjoyable.
Finding perimenopause-specific communities
Perimenopause-specific communities have expanded enormously in recent years. Online, there are active communities across forums, social media platforms, and dedicated apps where women share experiences, ask questions, and offer support. Many women find these communities transformative, particularly in the early stages of perimenopause when the experience is still confusing and a diagnosis may not yet have been made. Reading about other women's experiences and finding that your own match closely is a powerful form of validation. In-person groups also exist in many areas, often connected to GP surgeries, community centres, or women's health organisations.
The health benefits of belonging
Social belonging is not just emotionally comforting. It has measurable effects on health. Research consistently shows that people with stronger social ties have lower rates of depression and anxiety, better immune function, more resilience in the face of illness, and longer lives. For women in perimenopause, who are already managing an elevated risk of low mood, poor sleep, and chronic symptom burden, the health protection that community provides is particularly valuable. Prioritising community is not a soft option alongside medical care. It is a form of health investment with genuine returns.
Contributing as well as receiving
One aspect of community belonging that is easy to overlook is the benefit that comes from giving, not just receiving. Being in a position to support someone who is earlier in their perimenopause journey, to share what you have learned, to normalise someone else's experience with your own, adds a sense of meaning and purpose that pure information-seeking does not. Many women find that the most valuable community relationships are ones where the contribution flows in both directions. That reciprocity is also what turns a group into a genuine community rather than a resource to be extracted from.
Building your own circle if one does not exist
If you cannot find an existing community that fits, there is nothing preventing you from starting one. A group chat among several women you already know who are in similar life stages, a monthly coffee that becomes a standing arrangement, or an online group you create and invite others to join can all become genuine communities over time. The threshold for starting is much lower than most people imagine. Many of the perimenopause communities that have helped thousands of women began as one person deciding to talk openly about something that was not being talked about. You do not need a large group or a formal structure. You need a consistent, honest space where women feel safe to say what they are actually experiencing.
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