When I Accepted My Changing Body During Perimenopause

I was looking at myself in the mirror one day and I was struck by how much I was fighting against the changes. I was trying to maintain the body I had in my thirties. I was spending money on skincare products and supplements and workout programs trying to prevent aging. I was restricting my food intake to try to prevent weight gain. I was exhausting myself with the effort of trying to stay the same. And I was losing. My body was going to change. That was inevitable. So I made a decision. I was going to stop fighting it and start accepting it.

How I got here

I had always been someone who took care of my body. I exercised. I ate well. I took care of my skin. But during perimenopause, I became obsessed with preventing change. I saw each new wrinkle as a failure. I saw the weight gain as something I should be able to prevent through sheer willpower. I saw my body as something I was losing control of and I was fighting to maintain control. That effort was exhausting. It was also futile. My body was going to change no matter what I did. But I did not want to accept that. I wanted to stay young. I did not want to be perceived as old or past my prime.

What I actually did

I sat down and I thought about what I actually valued. Did I value my appearance more than my peace of mind? Did I value looking thirty more than I valued accepting myself as a 47-year-old woman? The answer to both of those questions was no. So I made a deliberate choice to accept my changing body. I looked at my face and I saw the wrinkles, but I also saw the expression lines from a lifetime of smiling and laughing. I saw my softer body and I acknowledged that it had fed my children and worked hard and carried me through life. I stopped trying to look like I was thirty and I started trying to look like the healthiest, strongest version of a 47-year-old woman. That required different food, different exercise, different skincare. But it required acceptance first.

What actually changed

The wrinkles did not go away. The weight did not disappear. My body continued to change. But my relationship to those changes shifted completely. Instead of experiencing them as loss and failure, I started experiencing them as evidence of a life lived. Instead of trying to maintain an impossible standard, I started taking care of myself in ways that actually felt good. I exercised because it made me feel strong, not because I was trying to look young. I ate well because it made me feel good, not because I was restricting myself to a certain size. I did skincare because I enjoyed the ritual, not because I was trying to prevent aging. Everything got easier when I stopped fighting against the inevitable.

What my routine looks like now

I have made peace with my changing body. I take care of myself, but from a place of self-love rather than self-rejection. I move my body because it feels good. I eat nourishing food because it fuels me well. I take care of my skin because I enjoy the ritual. I have stopped trying to fight against time. That acceptance has brought unexpected peace. My relationship with my body is better now than it was in my thirties because it is based on acceptance and kindness rather than criticism and control.

If you are struggling to accept the changes your body is going through during perimenopause, I would encourage you to consider what you are actually fighting against and why. Are you fighting against aging because you fear becoming invisible? Are you fighting against weight gain because you fear losing your worth? What if you could accept the changes and still feel valuable? What if you could take care of yourself from a place of love rather than fear? The changes are going to happen whether you fight them or accept them. You might as well accept them and enjoy your life in the process.